Processing The Holocaust Pain

This is a sensitive topic. But it happened. And it still is a major source of pain. We treat childhood trauma. Can the Holocaust pain also be processed? I almost mean to ask a medical question. The Jewish collective memory goes back thousands of years. They go back far like the Chinese. Something that happened a little over half a century ago must feel like yesterday to the collective Jewish psyche if only because they have a rich history going back thousands of years.

Because New York City means so much to me personally, I have come to visit and revisit this question of the Jewish identity. If I am going to love New York City, I might as well love all of it.

How do you process the pain? Do you process the pain? Is the pain there? I can't imagine the pain not being there. The Holocaust must feel like an emotional cliff. If you are Jewish, and you go down the memory lane a few decades, you fall off the cliff. People who connected you with the deeper past were massively gone. Had they disappeared any other way, the cliff would still have been there. But you know what happened. So there is the cliff, and there is the pain.

If it bothers you in a fundamental way, you got to deal with the pain. How do you process the pain?

What happened, how you felt, what happened, how you felt, what happened, how you felt?

Because it is a collective sort of pain, the therapy also has to be collective. It is not designed to erase the memory of the crime, or to say you will not feel pain. The memory will always be there, the pain at some level will always be there. But that pain does not have to be debilitating. If it is, you got to process the pain.

(1) Learn as many details as you can about the crime. Read, watch.
(2) Express the rage. Talk, shout, yell, cry, hug.

I have to talk about something as graphic as the Holocaust. I have selfish reasons to do so. Because then I have to go on and draw attention to the Global South as is. I would not use the term Holocaust. A deliberate, sophisticated state machinery carried it out. But there is an ongoing "Holocaust" going on in the Global South. Deaths to stupid violence, petty disease are staggering in number. But it is not state, rather the absence of state that has people dying like flies. And the process of curing will be slow. It takes time to bring democracy into a country, to build a state, to create wealth.

We already know what to do. We have to go and do it. The internet makes it possible for people anywhere to collaborate and contribute to people in the far corners of the earth. The internet speeds up the process. If it were not for the internet, I would feel too guilty to stick around in New York City.

You create political space. You create wealth.

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Not Going To Ohio

Going To Ohio

I have not heard anything yet from campaignvol -at- dl21c -dot- org so I guess I am not going. Looks like they are not big on cash. Or the bus filled up. Or whatever.

I guess I might try hard and hop on one of the other buses, there are so many groups going, but I will pass. This was going to be retail politics. The minor logistics were getting at me. Socks? How many?

Somebody needs to stay back and monitor the national situation online for Barack. That would be me.

Obama calls for a cool-down Los Angeles Times, USA Cleveland, where the biggest storm of the winter is forecast to dump 8 inches of snow on the city.

The Real Super Tuesday

Tuesday, March 4
7:00 pm
Super Tuesday II: Ohio/Texas Primary Returns Party
Tonic Bar & Lounge - Times Square
727 Seventh Avenue (at 49th Street)



In The News

Obama and Clinton clash in debate on health care Reuters
Obama Momentum Picks Up With Dodd Endorsement Voice of America
Strike grips south Nepal for 14 days Xinhua
All new railroads lead to Bihar Economic Times
Senate Democrats Focus on Economic Cost of War New York Times
Clinton, Obama Debate in Ohio The Associated Press
Clinton still leads Obama in Ohio, but by smaller margin Los Angeles Times 47% to 39% .... The 2006 photo showed Obama dressed in Somali tribal clothing while visiting the western part of Kenya ..... "If Barack Obama's campaign wants to suggest that a photo of him wearing traditional Somali clothing is divisive, they should be ashamed," Williams said. "Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited and had those photos published widely."
Clinton goes for broke as Obama rises in polls The Observer Blog
Clinton wonders about the debate process Los Angeles Times
Cleveland debate is final chance for Clinton to woo March 4 voters Guardian Unlimited a desperate attempt on Clinton's part to keep her presidential hopes alive. ...... even her prevalence among Democratic women voters has been eroded, with both candidates now standing neck and neck at 45%.

New National Polls: Obama gaining ground Boston Globe 54 percent of Democratic primary voters say they would prefer the party to nominate Barack Obama while 38 percent prefer Hillary Clinton. ...... 50 percent said they would support Obama to 38 percent for McCain, while respondents were split evenly, at 46 percent each, when the choice was between McCain and Clinton. Obama gained ground within nearly every sector
Clinton campaign starts 5-point attack on Obama International Herald Tribune a "kitchen sink" fusillade against Obama, pursuing five lines of attack since Saturday ...... sharply worded, attention-grabbing contrasts with Obama. ..... by going negative against Obama at a time when polls in Texas and Ohio show a tightening race, Clinton risked alienating voters ..... her hard-edged instinct for negative politics has usually turned off the public. ...... a photograph of Obama in ceremonial African garb appeared on the Drudge Report, and the item's author, Matt Drudge, claimed that the image was provided by a Clinton staff member. ...... "engaged in the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering we've seen from either party." .... Clinton drew widespread attention and praise at the debate last week for saying she was "honored" to be on the same stage with him.
Poll Finds a Fluid Religious Life in US New York Times
US is still overwhelmingly Christian, study finds Los Angeles Times
Protestants Verging on Becoming Minorities U.S. News & World Report
Obama Wins Over One Ohio Voter The Associated Press she liked "the atmosphere, the aura, the honesty, the comfort I felt."
Don't Be Quick to Count Out a Clinton The Associated Press Clinton's campaign is looking more and more like the Titanic ...... it never occurs to them to throw in the towel. There's no 'What's my graceful exit strategy?' They don't have that gene ..... Along the way, the Clintons proved themselves to be tough street fighters. ...... In 1990, when Gov. Clinton faced a strong re-election challenge, it was first lady Hillary who crashed a news conference held by the opponent and undercut him with documents showing he had praised Clinton's performance as governor. ........ "They are smart and they're fearless, but they're not reckless." ..... By mid-1995, the Clinton presidency was in free fall. Internal polls found that two-thirds of Americans ruled out voting to re-elect him. Aides cringed when Clinton felt compelled to insist at a news conference, "The president is relevant." ...... "The one thing you can almost always say about whatever situation you're in is that you've seen worse. So they don't get rattled. They have a much better perspective about how to deal with difficult days."

Yellow Roses To Keep

Love Sonnet XVII: I love you as certain dark things are loved,/secretly, between the shadow and the soul. ....... I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,/I love you simply, without problems or pride
Love Sonnet XI: I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair./Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets...... all day/I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps...... I want to eat your skin like a whole almond. ....... I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,/the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,....... hunting for you, for your hot heart,/like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Yellow Roses To Keep

I lost something in 1989.
Through Barack's elevation to
The White House
I stand to regain it.
Obama 08 has been deeply, deeply personal
To me. It has been therapy, it has been catharsis.

I had a happy freshman year at college.
Then I lost it again.
I thought I might regain it in New York City.
I am not complaining, it has been exciting.
But during those first few minutes with you
I felt it again. Before I sank back
Into the swamp of half living, not
Having a sense of belonging, of
Being on guard. The prejudice cobra
The racism cobra might strike.
But I am a big boy now. I am going to
Stare down the cobra.
I sank right before your eyes.
The swamp had the advantage of years.
You sank into your cynicism
The isolation of your throne
Guys not measuring up to
A warm bath and a good book.

Your cynicism that oh
It was just a homeboy thing
Let him meet the Kentucky dude
And see for himself how he also gets excited
Or he got taken by the Wes Clark name
Let him meet Wes Clark.

I know Indiana like the back of my hand.
India to Indiana is quite a journey.

In the mid 30s, someone is much more
Refined, you know yourself much better
The contours of one's life and being
Are much sharper.
It is easy to see there is not total overlap.
It is easy to get cynical
A little less alive.
It is easy to fall into the safe patterns
Of daily routine.
Of no longer dreaming the big dreams.

But I reject.

Or you could say
You have to find you before
You can find your soulmate.
It takes time to find you.
For me it has been that and trips into wilderness.

You gave me the pre-1989 feeling
Those first few minutes.
And then we both sank.

I guess it takes effort.

But the circling started right away
We both, in our own ways. We kept moving.

Your political poetry.
My flounderings on Nepal, Obama, the startup.

I complained.
I had issues.
I had not written
My online autobio yet.
I needed to process some pain, a lot of pain
Lurking beneath my calm exterior
Before I could see straight.

We circled like people from two very
Different cultures.
Trying to figure out the meaning of
A little gesture this, a little gesture that.
We gave up many times.

I would get angry.
Between me looking in your direction
And seeing someone who likes me
And your actually saying so
That was a racial infinity.
So does that make you a Miss 99%?
Territory to the soldiers of social segregation?
Or a Miss 1%? I thought.
Worse, what if you hop back and forth
Like quantum particles
That are both there and not there.

We confused each other plenty.
After the bookstore hectoring
I was on guard. Give me something concrete.
Or you will just as well throw me to the dogs.
Or you would punish me for rejecting you
With full social force. Even when
I never rejected.

Don't touch me?

There would be long periods of lull.
And then showing up at events.
Mostly you acting professional.
Your professionalism was killing me.

And then there would be flashes.
The summer bash and your touching.
The Holiday party and your brushing full force.
And in between several.
The street fair, the waving to the crowds, Irish Rogue
The education committee event, serving water
Whisking the women away.

And I would be like, if you like me today
You must have liked me yesterday
You will like me tomorrow.
That is what 2.0 is for.

Your acts of disappearing, like an art form
The expression of a basic pain.

I kept looking for something concrete.
I needed something verbal.
I needed to feel safe.

I kept wanting you in 2.0.
I already know what you look like
We have already talked before
Come enter my world of remote talk.
Let's make geography irrelevant.

For you the starting point had to be face time
Or not.

I give you that 5.0 is way richer.
But 2.0 is a coral reef too.

I think you are looking for
A shouting match.

And then you gave up on me.
You felt the shock tremors from Louisiana.
The banking industry took a big hit.
You became guarded about your throne.
The fire alarm went off.
Third persons did a little song and dance.

What was that at the zipper factory?

I have done some amazing work
For Nepal, Obama, and the startup
In the 2.0 environment
But I have paid a price.
I am slightly damanged, slightly broken.
You can ask me to go fix myself first.
Or you could participate and help me
Build back my social muscles.
With your participation, I think
I could build back very fast.
On my own, I fear
I might just become more damaged.
Because the work can not stop
The work has me in its grips.

I guess it takes effort.
We know each other better than on day one.
It is not true we have not talked.
Each time I have seen you in person
Has felt like an elaborate conversation.

Amitabh and Jaya did not hook up on day one.
It's okay.
It takes time.
There are no short cuts.

You carry the weight of history on your shoulders
I carry the weight of history on my shoulders.
For you, I will neutralize
Sexism, physicalism.

Queen.

This city is magic.
My mind is exploding with dreams
And possibilities.
And I want you to know I feel for you.
You can tell me you don't feel for me today
But you can't say you have never felt for me.
But why would you
Why would you say you don't feel for me today?
I am better today than ever before.
I would like to believe
I am a good looking kind of guy.













Yellow Roses