Monday, August 08, 2005

Seceding


I just got this wonderful forward in my inbox.
Subject: Letter to Red states from California

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Opry Land. We get Intel, Mac and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazies believe you are people with higher moral standards than we lefties.

Sincerely,

Blue State Member,

P.S AND.............YOU GET KARL ROVE AND ALL THE OTHERS WHO APPARENTLY LIED TO GRAND JURIES IN QUEST OF RIGHT WING IDEOLOGIES. AFTER ALL, TRUTH IS JUST A LIBERAL OBSESSION.

HAVE A HAPPY, EVEN IF SHORT-LIVED,RAPTURE. WE WILL APPRECIATE THE PEACE AND QUIET.

at No comments:

Friday, August 05, 2005

Dumb And Dumberer: Creationist Bush


Nothing puts me off like this easy litmus test. I have zero room for creationists. It is like someone said to a creationist arguing evolution is but a theory, so is gravity, so why don't you fly away!

Of course evolution is but a theory, that is the beauty of it. It is a sound theory that has so far stood the test of time, and is always open to the possibility it might get toppled by some better theory down the line, but that "theory" is not never going to be creationism, because creationism is not a theory, it is religious dogma.

So if God created the world in six days, is it six days or is it seven days? The Muslims say it is seven days, I think. So which is it?

The creationism Bush subscribes to is a religious concept propounded by one specific (of many equally valid) religions, or more accurately a sect within that religion, for many within that same religion do not let their minds get befuddled by the nonsense debate.

Evolution is a scientific theory. And so only another scientific theory trying to make sense of the same set of facts can compete with it. Creationism is not it. And so the two can not be said to compete. There is no debate, at least there is no intelligent debate on the issue.

What gets me though about creationists is that their stance on the issue is a symptom they deep in their hearts do not really have room for religious diversity. That is seriously problematic. And so Bush goes on record saying "if there were a law that would make people love each other, I would sign it." Meaning racial strife will just have to be plain tolerated. That is regressive.

Presidents come and go. Charles Darwin stays on.
at 1 comment:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)